I did not expect the discomfort and emptiness that developed as we got closer to the opening of the Prayer and Wisdom group installation.  I felt the nakedness of having put my work out there and the anticipation of how it would be received, the crushing weight of trying to find my worth or validation through creativity, of trying to save myself, literally, by the works of my own hands.  Of course that’s not what I say my artmaking is about, but hours before the opening I felt naked, exposed and fearful and had to own up to my own misguided, crooked ways. 

And while trying to get the courage or clarity to work through these thoughts, or maybe avoid them, I did something I had never noticed before (though I am sure it has happened) I threw  myself into a new project.

Passing by the same plastic top of a shopping cart by the railroad tracks I do each week, the thought of actually picking it up seemed more immediate and pressing.  The images and projects I had imagined for it seemed close, coupled with the crushed red heart shaped tin I picked up earlier in the day from off the street in front of an abandoned Catholic church, energized by a week of installation building and fueled by a desire to hide from my own fears I got home and got right to work. 

I have been interested in religious folk art and wayside shrines for years.  From Gothic statutes and their unfinished look and edges, to lead singer Perry Ferrell’s cover art for Ritual de la Habitual for Jane’s Addiction, part of my own interest in assemblage stems from this art form and tradition. 

I have collected candles and prayer cards, rosary beads and symbols from the Catholic faith and I am not even sure why.  My own Protestant impulses and beliefs are not drawn to honor God through these means but I think I always feel an affinity for the ritual, the idea of sacred space or sacred ways.  I think we as humans are drawn to rituals and sacred spaces, even if we are not believers.  We attribute more value to certain activities or places or objects than we do others.  And while these may be simple folk ways, not part of a centralized belief system they do point to a larger human experience.

Yet we are also reluctant to name this or even recognize this in ourselves or society.  We speak of God with no content, no specifics.  Our discourse is polite to the point of having nothing to really say.  It is embarrassing to speak of specific beliefs, just belief in general. 

“TO AN UNKNOWN GOD” was an inscription the apostle Paul found on an altar in Athens.  He spoke to the people present, to declare to them the God they worshipped in ignorance. 

I wanted to illustrate our unwillingness to name this god of no content and make him specific.  I also wanted to point out the mystery is less mystery as it is willful ignorance.  A lot of great “spiritual” feelings get “ruined” by the specifics of faith.  We want to believe that Love is really all you need, as John Lennon sang, but we only seem disturbed by the lack of others to express this love.  We chose to not know, we chose to hide and not answer some questions or know some answers, symbolized by the heart, crushed in the streets of the city, guarded by barbed wire, unwilling and unable to answer or ask.  The saints have been removed from the candles, all that is left is an empty space surrounded by religious trappings.  And the whole structure is not what it appears, it is not special, it is not sacred, it is part of a shopping cart from Kroger and discarded and fashioned anew into a space, put on wheels to make it mobile, not stationary and thus not set in a special or sacred space.

It did not work to hide myself from my own nakedness or to try to save myself by my works.  My art is not sacred and it has no power to save me or move others to validate my efforts.  It’s just art.  We can hide in our little ritual spaces or we can run to them for help but as Paul told the curious onlookers,

 “The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things”

Shield

But You, O LORD, are a shield about me,
My glory, and the One who lifts my head. 

Perils, shouts of despair and hopelessness, shame, enemies, failures, temptations, fears, regrets, trials.  Not all the time and not all at once, but these are common struggles for us all.  One of the surest places in prayer I ever come to is the declaration that God is my shield, He lifts my head and He stands between me and my enemies. 

Ultimately, it is in Christ that we see this expressed, He bore our sorrows and the shame for our sins before His Father so that we might have access to pray and find acceptance with a holy God. 

Psalms 3, 84, 91

Every Tear

You have taken account of my wanderings;
Put my tears in Your bottle
Are they not in Your book? 

Every tear is kept and marked down.  Not a trial or tribulation is missed. 

I think it is easy to miss that God’s omniscience is not a divine expression of scrapbooking.  We aren’t comforted by the fact that God is all knowing or compulsive enough to keep track of everything, but that He thinks fondly enough of us to take note of our every trial and every tear.  It is great reminder that we can confidently draw near to Him, casting our burdens and anxieties on Him because He truly does care for us, on intimate level.

Psalm 56:8

Everything

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD! 

Psalms are songs, no doubt, and most if not all, were put to music, but they are also instruction.  They call us to praise God in all aspects of our lives, sadness, anger, joy, triumph, lament, dedication.  But we aren’t all musicians that get to play in the great assembly of saints, and so Psalms ends with the instruction that everything that has breath is to praise God. Everything.

Psalm 150

I am exciting to be taking part in this group installation.  There is always a gap between what I visualize a project to look like and how it comes out, but this is even more exciting because it is such a grand scale, other artists with great visions and talents, and hearing their ideas but waiting to see it take shape and come together and how they interact.  The gallery space is being prepped and it looks awesome.  It has it’s own look and I am already amazed.

Below is an image developed for a stencil I made for one of my contributions, excited again to see how things come together and to move away from how I have done things before, open up for input while a project is in process and just have a great time laughing and working and moving pianos and hanging ropes and drawing with ash.  And that was just day one for me! 

 Indianapolis Museum of Art

http://www.imamuseum.org/

Karen Walker, Do-Ho Suh, Tim Hawkinson, Maya Ying Lin

Picasso, Warhol, Hopper, Benton, Cezanne, Cranus the elder

I just wanted to say what a delightful discovery the IMA was to me, it’s totally free with a GREAT collection.  I was amazed at the depth and breadth of the collection and the artists represented.  Certainly worth a trip to check out.

I had limited time to explore but completely enjoyed the collection and the beautiful space it was shown in. 

The above image was taken outside the main entrance while we waited for the museum to open.

I intended to finish up my exploration of the imagery of art of dying by passing out these pins I had made of a pressed flower and obituary page on these hand cut and stamped coffin shapped business cards.  The pins took far longer than expected, so here they are, ready to be launched into coffee shops and other places I frequent hopefully to be found by unsuspecting folks going about their day.

It’s a lot to ask of any creative endeavor to “make a people think” so I will send these off with a prayer to just help folks pause and possibly just be blessed by a gift. 

I have written as much as I think I will for now about the art of the dying but this site has several expressions of the imagery of fading flowers, wilting grass and flying time.  There are a couple of  bigger pieces and while I continue to be fascinated by the works of Holbien the younger and his Dance of the Dead wood cuts and other such works of art, and while I have some more ideas along the same path I am pretty excited about exploring what’s before me, “Family Curse” and expect to spend a good amount of time working on that theme, as well as some other projects in the coming months. 

I hope to revisit the art of dying themes next fall for Day of the Dead, but for now this is where I rest from this series.

Below is basically the letter I wrote for my brother in law, a great kid, still in High School who really inspired me this last week by his desire to give gifts for his family, earning and spending his own money to get gifts, real gifts, for his family, and his new brothers in law.

A little about this gift…

It is a portion of a letter tray, used for holding type, I love trying to figure out how to design and create in small spaces and it allows for there to be more than one thing being said at a time…like our lives, but we are also beyond compartmentalizing ourselves.

Left bottom 

Your initials, mine too, and I was glad to share the few letters I had to make you a gift.

The first little jar has the phrenology head you like, sorry I don’t have a spare one I can part with right now, but if I did, you would have it.  But the image is powerful to me because it is a great example of humanity’s attempts to understand ourselves, our behaviors and our souls.  It is a scientific attempt but it ultimately fails.  The jar contains withered grass and a pinch of dust; both from a graveyard, reminders of our mortality and that there is a terminal limit on searching for self knowledge.

Left top

You are one of the few people I talk with who both enjoys political discussion and also sees limits to our system the way it is.  I did a piece called “Neither Ballots NOR Bullets,” you saw it and this little piece is based upon it.  Christianity and the Bible are above politics though they have political relevance, Jesus didn’t come to setup a political system or support a political party.  The bullet I found in a parking lot and the Rockefeller campaign “pin” is from either his 1960, 64 or 68 presidential bid and it is the kind of “pin” that you would fold the back over the top of your shirt pocket to clasp it.  I had Goldwater too, but thought you’d appreciate the Rockefeller pin more; money, moderate social stances, fiscally sounds, etc.

Right bottom

Key holes to me represent mystery, we don’t know everything, nor can we…it’s not wrong to ask questions as long as you can handle not everything has an answer or more accurately we may not understand the answer. 

“The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law.”

Light bulb, because you are very bright, as in, intelligent, but the bulb also must be connected to the source to shed light to others. We are at our best when connected to the source,  and we also, despite our understanding and intelligence must also be ok being next to mystery.

Right top

Family Curse Jar

You are the first to receive or even see this piece (besides my close confidant, your sister).  I am working on a new piece that is about curses, and family curses, but it isn’t about our immediate or even distant ancestors, it is about Adam and Eve and their fall and the curse we all bear now.  It is based upon hoo doo (African American folk religion/magic)  of the mojo bags and conjure men and women)  So the jar collects symbols of the curses…cursed earth, from the graveyard, snake skin, tears/sweat from child labor and hard work, thorns and thistles from a ground no longer easy to work, a “nation bag,” used by women in Memphis to allure and dominate men, symbol of Eve’s struggle and fig leaf stamps, exiled from the garden in our nakedness…­

Notes from Jeremy Begbie’s Address at Asbury College, Nov 12th 2009

Keying off a piece of music written in the 1930’s, that was trying to capture the “music of the future enjoyed in the present.” Dr. Begbie explored the nature and central role of hope in our faith and how that informs our lives and artmaking.

We often hope from the present for a better future, but the New Testament employs what Dr. Begbie called a “Reverse Imagination” where our real future hope is to play out in our present, not hoping for the future but hoping from the future.

Looking at Revelation chapter 21 and the city of God, the New Jerusalem, he outlined five features of our subversive hope.

1. Enriching Difference

The diversity of the New Jerusalem that will be home to all nations, or peoples, demonstrates that differences and distinctions among people groups are ok, but we are not to make those distinctions into values or hierarchies of cultures.

 Throughout his lecture he used music pieces as ways to demonstrate how these concepts can inform our art making.  For diversity he used a piece demonstrating polyrhythm and the richness, musically, built upon it.

2. Insane Inversion

The first shall be last, the humble exalted and the Lamb on the Throne, all are clear examples of how God will reverse our cultural norms and expectations.  It was a reminder of the great counter cultural nature of our faith. 

Power is radically redefined based upon our hope from the future.

He noted how Nietzsche is the Church’s best critic, for he saw clearly the cross shaped offense and how “ridiculous” it was, we can learn from him because he often got the implications of our counter culture faith better than we as the church have.

3. Piercing Exposure

Our hope is not sentimental, but reveals the root and depth of evil.  The Lamb who was slain will be central in the New Jerusalem, not covering up the ugliness of sin, but it’s cost to God ever before us.

Our condition is unveiled and God’s response is greater than we can imagine, canceling the sentimentality of our own day. 

He noted how we can’t skip over the Cross as though the Resurrection is just a happy ending, the Cross is central to our faith, the reversal of the Resurrection doesn’t diminish the ugliness of the Cross and our sinfulness in a sentimental way.

4. Divine Excess

The fullness of our Future Hope, its full expression is excessive, “subverting our closed equilibrium.” There is an abundance demonstrated in the extreme fruitfulness of the Tree of Life, its fruits and even its leaves that are for the healing of the nations. 

There is novelty, not trite, but over and above what it “necessary.”

“Art can say more than can be told.”

5. Nominal Order

Dr. Begbie called the “non-order,” the Jazz Factor, it is the unpredictable.  The improvisation, playing between the space between order and non order, not order and chaos. 

Untidiness is not a mark of chaos or disorder, just irregularities.

This is seen in the new creation, and can come forth in art making. 

I was encouraged especially by the idea of piercing exposure as my own artmaking has recently focused on the unsentimental truth about our own mortality.  I have been exploring ideas in the art of dying to try to place before myself the “unpretty” truth that death comes for us all and we may ignore it but we are better served by facing it and preparing it.  I have wrestled theologically on focusing on the bad news when I know the rest of the story and our great hope, but I found comfort in the idea that our hope is open faced and wide eyed and takes full account of the bad news first before the good news can break through.

My notes are of course incomplete and don’t do Dr. Begbie’s lecture justice, please don’t consider them as a word for word transcript, they are just the topics discussed and the notes I made.  I do certainly recommend hearing him speak if you are given the chance, he masterful blend of musicianship, theology and public speaking are insightful and encouraging beyond what I have reviewed here. 

Looking forward to getting him speak at the Calvin Institute for Christian Worship’s Calvin Symposium on Worship, January 28-30, 2010 in Grand Rapids MI.

I started a yearlong assignment for myself that began on August 16, 2009. 

I was downtown getting help with my car from a friend and while waiting saw the above objects on the ground.  I collected them and it got me thinking about what I could find if I started looking more diligently. 

So I decided that weekend to set a date and begin to look for an object each day, enter it in the log below and attach it to a string where I would keep all of the objects connected.  No alteration except whatever is required to attach it to the string.  I was interested in daily discipline of looking and logging.  No apparent trend or meaning as yet just to develop a way of being and looking. I have tried to skip repetition and so far have been mostly successful, have avoided cigarette butts and my wife has made me observe a no “orifice” rule, nothing that has been in someone, no more toothbrushes, dental picks, etc.  She worries about me

So I start today with this post, my first 100 objects and to celebrate I will start carrying hand sanitizer.

Below is the list so far and some pictures of the project.

8/16/09        yellow crayon                                                                   

8/17/09        big, old bolt                                                                                       

8/18/09        gold and pearl clip on earring                                     

8/19/09        beat up feather                                                                               

8/20/09        bobby pin                                                                           

8/21/09        TY heart tag                                                                       

8/22/09        bracelet                                                                              

8/23/09        D cell battery top                                                            

8/24/09        clear tube                                                                           

8/25/09        washer of some sort                                                     

8/26/09        rusted nail                                                                          

8/27/09        blue plastic diamond shape                                        

8/28/09        penny                                                                                  

8/29/09        Ale8 1 Bottle cap                                                             

8/30/09        rusted washer                                                                               

8/31/09        Losing KY lottery ticket                                                 

9/1/09           yellow, black and white cord                                      

9/2/09           part of a rubber ball                                                       

9/3/09           rubber Palm accessory                                                 

9/4/09           leather zipper fob                                                             

9/5/09           part of lamp                                                                      

9/6/09           Copenhagen lid                                                                               

9/7/09           Plastic cap for toy gun                                                   

9/8/09           Packet of silica                                                                  

9/9/09           garden tag                                                                         

9/10/09        plastic shoe heel                                                                             

9/11/09        suction cup                                                                        

9/12/09        spool of purple thread                                                  

9/13/09        tag from Tiger blanket                                                  

9/14/09        yellow wire cap                                                                

9/15/09        plastic smiley guy with hat on                                    

9/16/09        half of a plastic mechanical pencil                            

9/17/09        lego piece for a race car                                                               

9/18/09        angel                                                                                    

9/19/09        toothbrush                                                                        

9/20/09        promotional guitar pick                                                

9/21/09        Grater’s Ice Cream Lid                                                  

9/22/09        paper clip                                                                                           

9/23/09        broken piece of Toyota logo                                      

9/24/09        child’s alphabet block                                                    

9/25/09        button                                                                                 

9/26/09        broken break light piece                                               

9/27/09        little lighter                                                                          

9/28/09        “driftwood”                                                                       

9/29/09        Ricola wrapper                                                             

9/30/09        air freshener                                                                

10/1/09        child restraint tag                                                            

10/2/09        Champagne wire basket                                              

10/3/09        .22 caliber bullet                                                                              

10/4/09        wiffle ball                                                                                           

10/5/09        rusty “V”                                                                             

10/6/09        top of tire gauge                                                             

10/7/09        broken key fob                                                                

10/8/09        tattered silk flower                                                        

10/9/09        black tube                                                                          

10/10/09      paper airplane made from receipt                           

10/11/09      birthday candle                                                                

10/12/09      drill bit                                                                                 

10/13/09      tin top of mint box                                                         

10/14/09      popcorn                                                                              

10/15/09      broken clothes pin                                                         

10/16/09      broken glasses                                                                 

10/17/09      old Christmas ornament                                                               

10/18/09      finger puppet                                                                   

10/19/09      wasp nest                                                                          

10/20/09      empty 50 ml vodka bottle                                           

10/21/09      poorly written tract                                                                                        

10/22/09      scissor handle                                                                   

10/23/09      nut                                                                                        

10/24/09      grey cap to cover screw                                                                

10/25/09      4 of Diamonds                                                                  

10/26/09      empty plastic badge holder                                        

10/27/09      lead seal                                                                             

10/28/09      old rubber band                                                              

10/29/09      old soda can tab                                                              

10/30/09      tire valve cap                                                                                    

10/31/09      broken watch band piece                                            

11/1/09        empty grape jam packet from McD’s                                     

11/2/09        plastic hanger                                                                   

11/3/09        green rubber baby bottle nipple                              

11/4/09        wall plate for light switch                                                             

11/5/09        DOTD butterfly from 21C installment                     

11/6/09        broken led light of some sort                                     

11/7/09        flat metal rod                                                                    

11/8/09        plastic mesh net                                                              

11/9/09        Burt’s beeswax lip balm tin                                         

11/10/09      plastic floral decoration piece                                    

11/11/09      metal plate of some sort                                             

11/12/09      flattened bottle cap                                                       

11/13/09      spring                                                                                   

11/14/09      cut coat hanger                                                                

11/15/09      tire weight                                                                         

11/16/09      hair tie                                                                                 

11/17/09      thorn                                                                                    

11/18/09      kernel of corn                                                                   

11/19/09      engagement ring                                                            

11/20/09      metal cover for fan of computer                              

11/21/09      spark plug box                                                              

11/22/09      grocery list                                                                         

11/23/09      checker

But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.   Ps 115:3

Dan2:28,37, Isa 34:4, Ps 19:1-3

As we read through the exile books of Nehemiah and Ezra the phrase “the God of Heaven” appeared over and over, and not just in the mouths of the Israelites, but in gentile kings and leaders. 

In Daniel we see this again as both Daniel proclaims it is the God of Heaven who is the revealer of mysteries and as Nebuchadnezzar is humbled by the Most High God and acknowledges Him as the King of Heaven.   

Not identified as a national deity or cult figure, the God of Heaven, with a domain that has no boundaries, is thus also the God of all the Earth. 

And while it is impossible for us to look past the heavens, we are assured that God will one day roll up the Heavens like a scroll and will reveal all things that are now hidden. 

I was inspired by the woodcut below, thinking at our attempts to comprehend the heavens and how humans have struggled to understand our place in the cosmos.  For the piece I chose both ancient astronomy pieces and charts from the Apollo 11 voyage.  The key hole, which represents the unknown, is off center hinting at our inability to even guess at the right place to go for answers, much less get them.

 “Of that place beyond the heavens,” wrote Plato, “none of our earthly poets has yet sung, and none shall sing worthily.”  Undaunted by Plato’s warning, artists sought to depict what might lie past the sphere of the cosmos as this well known woodcut illustrates…The sun,  moon and stars—the known celestial bodies—appear within the arch of the heavens.  Outside are unfamiliar orbs, turbulence and the machinery that moves the universe

-David Ulansey

“All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field…The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.”

More imagery exploring the art of dying, these pressed flowers and obituaries were actually the inspiration for the giving tins. 

Visually, I have found the obituaries a striking and linear background to the organic and fragile pressed wild flowers. 

 The theme and text are taken from Isaiah