I did not expect the discomfort and emptiness that developed as we got closer to the opening of the Prayer and Wisdom group installation.  I felt the nakedness of having put my work out there and the anticipation of how it would be received, the crushing weight of trying to find my worth or validation through creativity, of trying to save myself, literally, by the works of my own hands.  Of course that’s not what I say my artmaking is about, but hours before the opening I felt naked, exposed and fearful and had to own up to my own misguided, crooked ways. 

And while trying to get the courage or clarity to work through these thoughts, or maybe avoid them, I did something I had never noticed before (though I am sure it has happened) I threw  myself into a new project.

Passing by the same plastic top of a shopping cart by the railroad tracks I do each week, the thought of actually picking it up seemed more immediate and pressing.  The images and projects I had imagined for it seemed close, coupled with the crushed red heart shaped tin I picked up earlier in the day from off the street in front of an abandoned Catholic church, energized by a week of installation building and fueled by a desire to hide from my own fears I got home and got right to work. 

I have been interested in religious folk art and wayside shrines for years.  From Gothic statutes and their unfinished look and edges, to lead singer Perry Ferrell’s cover art for Ritual de la Habitual for Jane’s Addiction, part of my own interest in assemblage stems from this art form and tradition. 

I have collected candles and prayer cards, rosary beads and symbols from the Catholic faith and I am not even sure why.  My own Protestant impulses and beliefs are not drawn to honor God through these means but I think I always feel an affinity for the ritual, the idea of sacred space or sacred ways.  I think we as humans are drawn to rituals and sacred spaces, even if we are not believers.  We attribute more value to certain activities or places or objects than we do others.  And while these may be simple folk ways, not part of a centralized belief system they do point to a larger human experience.

Yet we are also reluctant to name this or even recognize this in ourselves or society.  We speak of God with no content, no specifics.  Our discourse is polite to the point of having nothing to really say.  It is embarrassing to speak of specific beliefs, just belief in general. 

“TO AN UNKNOWN GOD” was an inscription the apostle Paul found on an altar in Athens.  He spoke to the people present, to declare to them the God they worshipped in ignorance. 

I wanted to illustrate our unwillingness to name this god of no content and make him specific.  I also wanted to point out the mystery is less mystery as it is willful ignorance.  A lot of great “spiritual” feelings get “ruined” by the specifics of faith.  We want to believe that Love is really all you need, as John Lennon sang, but we only seem disturbed by the lack of others to express this love.  We chose to not know, we chose to hide and not answer some questions or know some answers, symbolized by the heart, crushed in the streets of the city, guarded by barbed wire, unwilling and unable to answer or ask.  The saints have been removed from the candles, all that is left is an empty space surrounded by religious trappings.  And the whole structure is not what it appears, it is not special, it is not sacred, it is part of a shopping cart from Kroger and discarded and fashioned anew into a space, put on wheels to make it mobile, not stationary and thus not set in a special or sacred space.

It did not work to hide myself from my own nakedness or to try to save myself by my works.  My art is not sacred and it has no power to save me or move others to validate my efforts.  It’s just art.  We can hide in our little ritual spaces or we can run to them for help but as Paul told the curious onlookers,

 “The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things”

Working on a series of new pieces, based upon the idea of a family curse from a powerful conjure man, working itself out in our lives.  We didn’t do anything ourselves to be cursed but some distant relative has passed on a curse to us and we are miserable under it but also made more miserable by our own futile attempts to break the curse, only complicating the matter and further playing into this curse.

I have lots to say and make in this regards, but I am still at work at it, have been for months, researching curses, hoo doo and conjure traditions and sorting it out visually, while collecting photos of our relatives, family histories and the objects, minerals, charms and  botanicals that represent these curses. 

I am headed to a conference and hope to have copious notes and some new connections to write about.

Below is basically the letter I wrote for my brother in law, a great kid, still in High School who really inspired me this last week by his desire to give gifts for his family, earning and spending his own money to get gifts, real gifts, for his family, and his new brothers in law.

A little about this gift…

It is a portion of a letter tray, used for holding type, I love trying to figure out how to design and create in small spaces and it allows for there to be more than one thing being said at a time…like our lives, but we are also beyond compartmentalizing ourselves.

Left bottom 

Your initials, mine too, and I was glad to share the few letters I had to make you a gift.

The first little jar has the phrenology head you like, sorry I don’t have a spare one I can part with right now, but if I did, you would have it.  But the image is powerful to me because it is a great example of humanity’s attempts to understand ourselves, our behaviors and our souls.  It is a scientific attempt but it ultimately fails.  The jar contains withered grass and a pinch of dust; both from a graveyard, reminders of our mortality and that there is a terminal limit on searching for self knowledge.

Left top

You are one of the few people I talk with who both enjoys political discussion and also sees limits to our system the way it is.  I did a piece called “Neither Ballots NOR Bullets,” you saw it and this little piece is based upon it.  Christianity and the Bible are above politics though they have political relevance, Jesus didn’t come to setup a political system or support a political party.  The bullet I found in a parking lot and the Rockefeller campaign “pin” is from either his 1960, 64 or 68 presidential bid and it is the kind of “pin” that you would fold the back over the top of your shirt pocket to clasp it.  I had Goldwater too, but thought you’d appreciate the Rockefeller pin more; money, moderate social stances, fiscally sounds, etc.

Right bottom

Key holes to me represent mystery, we don’t know everything, nor can we…it’s not wrong to ask questions as long as you can handle not everything has an answer or more accurately we may not understand the answer. 

“The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law.”

Light bulb, because you are very bright, as in, intelligent, but the bulb also must be connected to the source to shed light to others. We are at our best when connected to the source,  and we also, despite our understanding and intelligence must also be ok being next to mystery.

Right top

Family Curse Jar

You are the first to receive or even see this piece (besides my close confidant, your sister).  I am working on a new piece that is about curses, and family curses, but it isn’t about our immediate or even distant ancestors, it is about Adam and Eve and their fall and the curse we all bear now.  It is based upon hoo doo (African American folk religion/magic)  of the mojo bags and conjure men and women)  So the jar collects symbols of the curses…cursed earth, from the graveyard, snake skin, tears/sweat from child labor and hard work, thorns and thistles from a ground no longer easy to work, a “nation bag,” used by women in Memphis to allure and dominate men, symbol of Eve’s struggle and fig leaf stamps, exiled from the garden in our nakedness…­

“Remember you will die” 

Like a broken record, the Preacher in the book of Ecclesiastics repeats the phrase “under the sun” over and over as he contemplates the human condition.  His earthly perspective and questions and experiential basis for answering predates and anticipates the Greek philosophical tradition by almost 500 years.  Here is a man seeking to understand life below a heavenly perspective and seek what is the best way we should live…and the answer is in recognition that we will die. 

Rich, poor, wise, foolish, sinner and saint, we will all die.

Just as in Plato’s dialogues, where Socrates stated that philosophy is about preparing to die, learning how to live in light of our own mortality, the Preacher calls us to consider how we should live.

However in the midst of this grim perspective, in the context of God’s wisdom we see what our great blessing is during all the days of our lives.  Ecc 9:7-9 stands out to me, “Eat..with happiness, drink…with a cheerful heart.  God has already approved your works…Enjoy life with the woman you love all the days of your fleeting life…”

Influenced by Biblical texts such as the Book of Ecclesiastes and historical events such as the Black Plague and the 100 Years War, the people of late medival Europe were constantly facing death and remined to be prepared for it.

As with my exploration of other elements of the art of dying, this piece doesn’t offer a solution or even suggest morality is the key.  Of course it doesn’t also suggest a childish “seize the day” impulse in the face the our own mortality. I simply hoped to create pieces that would remind us that we are in fact mortal, we will die, as I think we are prone to forget or deny that ugly, lonely truth.

I started this piece in August, after finishing the Memento Mori devotion cover, and it draws on much of the same imagery and symbolism.  It was also began just as I started to look into the Art of Dying and Dance Macabre movements in Europe. It is mostly how I envisioned it but I considered many directions along the way and ultimately I am not as satisfied with it as I would have been had I finished it in September. Having created a few other pieces that I have learned from and been stretched by, this piece feels very direct, making an obvious statement, at least it feels that way to me, and because of that it isn’t as engaging to me, but I thought I would share in honesty rather than hide it away.

I started a yearlong assignment for myself that began on August 16, 2009. 

I was downtown getting help with my car from a friend and while waiting saw the above objects on the ground.  I collected them and it got me thinking about what I could find if I started looking more diligently. 

So I decided that weekend to set a date and begin to look for an object each day, enter it in the log below and attach it to a string where I would keep all of the objects connected.  No alteration except whatever is required to attach it to the string.  I was interested in daily discipline of looking and logging.  No apparent trend or meaning as yet just to develop a way of being and looking. I have tried to skip repetition and so far have been mostly successful, have avoided cigarette butts and my wife has made me observe a no “orifice” rule, nothing that has been in someone, no more toothbrushes, dental picks, etc.  She worries about me

So I start today with this post, my first 100 objects and to celebrate I will start carrying hand sanitizer.

Below is the list so far and some pictures of the project.

8/16/09        yellow crayon                                                                   

8/17/09        big, old bolt                                                                                       

8/18/09        gold and pearl clip on earring                                     

8/19/09        beat up feather                                                                               

8/20/09        bobby pin                                                                           

8/21/09        TY heart tag                                                                       

8/22/09        bracelet                                                                              

8/23/09        D cell battery top                                                            

8/24/09        clear tube                                                                           

8/25/09        washer of some sort                                                     

8/26/09        rusted nail                                                                          

8/27/09        blue plastic diamond shape                                        

8/28/09        penny                                                                                  

8/29/09        Ale8 1 Bottle cap                                                             

8/30/09        rusted washer                                                                               

8/31/09        Losing KY lottery ticket                                                 

9/1/09           yellow, black and white cord                                      

9/2/09           part of a rubber ball                                                       

9/3/09           rubber Palm accessory                                                 

9/4/09           leather zipper fob                                                             

9/5/09           part of lamp                                                                      

9/6/09           Copenhagen lid                                                                               

9/7/09           Plastic cap for toy gun                                                   

9/8/09           Packet of silica                                                                  

9/9/09           garden tag                                                                         

9/10/09        plastic shoe heel                                                                             

9/11/09        suction cup                                                                        

9/12/09        spool of purple thread                                                  

9/13/09        tag from Tiger blanket                                                  

9/14/09        yellow wire cap                                                                

9/15/09        plastic smiley guy with hat on                                    

9/16/09        half of a plastic mechanical pencil                            

9/17/09        lego piece for a race car                                                               

9/18/09        angel                                                                                    

9/19/09        toothbrush                                                                        

9/20/09        promotional guitar pick                                                

9/21/09        Grater’s Ice Cream Lid                                                  

9/22/09        paper clip                                                                                           

9/23/09        broken piece of Toyota logo                                      

9/24/09        child’s alphabet block                                                    

9/25/09        button                                                                                 

9/26/09        broken break light piece                                               

9/27/09        little lighter                                                                          

9/28/09        “driftwood”                                                                       

9/29/09        Ricola wrapper                                                             

9/30/09        air freshener                                                                

10/1/09        child restraint tag                                                            

10/2/09        Champagne wire basket                                              

10/3/09        .22 caliber bullet                                                                              

10/4/09        wiffle ball                                                                                           

10/5/09        rusty “V”                                                                             

10/6/09        top of tire gauge                                                             

10/7/09        broken key fob                                                                

10/8/09        tattered silk flower                                                        

10/9/09        black tube                                                                          

10/10/09      paper airplane made from receipt                           

10/11/09      birthday candle                                                                

10/12/09      drill bit                                                                                 

10/13/09      tin top of mint box                                                         

10/14/09      popcorn                                                                              

10/15/09      broken clothes pin                                                         

10/16/09      broken glasses                                                                 

10/17/09      old Christmas ornament                                                               

10/18/09      finger puppet                                                                   

10/19/09      wasp nest                                                                          

10/20/09      empty 50 ml vodka bottle                                           

10/21/09      poorly written tract                                                                                        

10/22/09      scissor handle                                                                   

10/23/09      nut                                                                                        

10/24/09      grey cap to cover screw                                                                

10/25/09      4 of Diamonds                                                                  

10/26/09      empty plastic badge holder                                        

10/27/09      lead seal                                                                             

10/28/09      old rubber band                                                              

10/29/09      old soda can tab                                                              

10/30/09      tire valve cap                                                                                    

10/31/09      broken watch band piece                                            

11/1/09        empty grape jam packet from McD’s                                     

11/2/09        plastic hanger                                                                   

11/3/09        green rubber baby bottle nipple                              

11/4/09        wall plate for light switch                                                             

11/5/09        DOTD butterfly from 21C installment                     

11/6/09        broken led light of some sort                                     

11/7/09        flat metal rod                                                                    

11/8/09        plastic mesh net                                                              

11/9/09        Burt’s beeswax lip balm tin                                         

11/10/09      plastic floral decoration piece                                    

11/11/09      metal plate of some sort                                             

11/12/09      flattened bottle cap                                                       

11/13/09      spring                                                                                   

11/14/09      cut coat hanger                                                                

11/15/09      tire weight                                                                         

11/16/09      hair tie                                                                                 

11/17/09      thorn                                                                                    

11/18/09      kernel of corn                                                                   

11/19/09      engagement ring                                                            

11/20/09      metal cover for fan of computer                              

11/21/09      spark plug box                                                              

11/22/09      grocery list                                                                         

11/23/09      checker

But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.   Ps 115:3

Dan2:28,37, Isa 34:4, Ps 19:1-3

As we read through the exile books of Nehemiah and Ezra the phrase “the God of Heaven” appeared over and over, and not just in the mouths of the Israelites, but in gentile kings and leaders. 

In Daniel we see this again as both Daniel proclaims it is the God of Heaven who is the revealer of mysteries and as Nebuchadnezzar is humbled by the Most High God and acknowledges Him as the King of Heaven.   

Not identified as a national deity or cult figure, the God of Heaven, with a domain that has no boundaries, is thus also the God of all the Earth. 

And while it is impossible for us to look past the heavens, we are assured that God will one day roll up the Heavens like a scroll and will reveal all things that are now hidden. 

I was inspired by the woodcut below, thinking at our attempts to comprehend the heavens and how humans have struggled to understand our place in the cosmos.  For the piece I chose both ancient astronomy pieces and charts from the Apollo 11 voyage.  The key hole, which represents the unknown, is off center hinting at our inability to even guess at the right place to go for answers, much less get them.

 “Of that place beyond the heavens,” wrote Plato, “none of our earthly poets has yet sung, and none shall sing worthily.”  Undaunted by Plato’s warning, artists sought to depict what might lie past the sphere of the cosmos as this well known woodcut illustrates…The sun,  moon and stars—the known celestial bodies—appear within the arch of the heavens.  Outside are unfamiliar orbs, turbulence and the machinery that moves the universe

-David Ulansey

“All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field…The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.”

For this image in my exploration of  the art of dying, I wanted to focus on the flowers that fade.  Not only is it an image used in memento mori art but even traditional painted still lifes (formerly called vanitas) relate the wilting flower to the frailty of our passing glory. 

I discovered a pressed rose in an old Bible I picked up at a Goodwill store.  What could be a more striking example of the vanity of our lives? 

A forgotten rose from an unknown funeral in an unmarked Bible. 

And so the flower fades.  Our lives pass.

 The theme and text are taken from Isaiah. The tins consist of flowers picked from fields, old obituaries and headstones inside the tins, copied from shapes in local cemeteries.

A voice says, “Call out.”
Then he answered, “What shall I call out?”

“All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. 

The grass withers, the flower fades, when the breath of the LORD blows upon it; Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.”

Continuing my interest in the art of dying, these giving tins were developed as another contemplation of our mortality, the shortness and frailty of our lives.

The theme and text are taken from Isaiah. The tins consist of obituaries and grass from a cemetery, viewed through a headstone shaped hole. 

Again, my interest is not a teenage morbid fixation on death (well I hope not at least) but rather exploring new expressions of memento mori.

I am totally excited about the new Dias de los Muertos exhibit being held at 21c Nov 1st to Nov 9th, 2009. 

Definitely an inspiration behind my own exploration of the Art of Dying. 

Hope you can make it out.

Jer 42:10-16, Gal 3:13

It may seem incredible that the remnant in Judah would attempt to find shelter, safety and provision outside of God’s will, but our fear and unbelief that leads us to doubt the goodness and kindness of God towards us, will also blind us to the insanity of running to the waste places in our own lives that God has previously delivered us from.

The people of Judah had just recently experienced the devastation of their land, the exiling of their own leaders to Babylon and the occupation of their land by the Babylonians.  Fearing the wrath of the king, they were looking to relocate to Egypt to avoid further trouble.  Jeremiah, at their request, brings them this promise.

If you will indeed stay in this land, then I will build you up and not tear you down, and I will plant you and not uproot you; for I will relent concerning the calamity that I have inflicted on you. Do not be afraid of the king of Babylon, whom you are now fearing; do not be afraid of him, declares the LORD, for I am with you to save you and deliver you from his hand.

But if you are going to say, ‘We will not stay in this land,’ so as not to listen to the voice of the LORD your God, saying, ‘No, but we will go to the land of Egypt, where we will not see war or hear the sound of a trumpet or hunger for bread, and we will stay there’; then in that case listen to the word of the LORD, O remnant of Judah. Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, If you really set your mind to enter Egypt and go in to reside there, then the sword, which you are afraid of, will overtake you there in the land of Egypt; and the famine, about which you are anxious, will follow closely after you there in Egypt, and you will die there.

Jeremiah goes on to prophesy about the different nations around Israel that God will judge for their corrupt societies, snapshots of destruction.  The picture is clear that outside of living in God’s will, there is no safe place.  Sin offers no shelter or covering, and we cannot hide from the curse on sin.  We can only find shelter in the one who bore the curse for us, Christ, who “having become a curse for us–for it is written, ‘cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree,’” has provided us the only shelter from our own destructive habits and God’s judgment on sin.